


Road to Purgatory

by lizvegas



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 10:12:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15241134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizvegas/pseuds/lizvegas
Summary: Coming out is tough and first girlfriends never really last... unless you marry them but we all know how that turned out. How Nicole got to Purgatory.





	1. Homecoming...out

Nicole sat at the kitchen table nervously tapping her foot and fiddling with her keys, she had driven home from the academy for the first time since she had left three months ago. Always wanting to be a police officer, Nicole had grown up with a sense of obligation and a morality rarely seen in young people. Instead of going out on Friday nights partying in senior year Nicole had opted to stay in and memorise the Ontario Provincial Police code book and google strange laws in Canada and around the world. She was totally glad she didn’t live in Alberta where you can’t even paint the rungs on your wooden ladder, but she would admit the mountains always appealed to her. So, today she had finally decided was the day she would confess to her parents that she was indeed not entirely everything they hoped for, and failure to meet expectations was not something her father took well. A heavy sigh was the first time Nicole felt as if she had taken a breath in what felt like ages. “C’mon Haught, you’re only shattering their world…I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” she chuckled at the thought of her brothers’ favourite phrase. Ever since they were kids he would always shrug and say “Nic, what’s the worst that could happen?”. She wished he was here but an IED had seen to that and now she was the only remaining child of John and Jennifer Haught.  
She heard the crunch of tyres indicating the return of her parents, her Dad was a retired Major and her mother the classic army wife.

Nicole stood out of habit as her father entered the room, “Hey there slugger” his usual greeting as he registered his daughters’ presence. John Haught had been Nicoles’ biggest fan during high school softball and all the way up to her Canadian team trials, as a switch hitter she had a distinct advantage and had been successful. “Back in a minute” he said clapping his hand on her shoulder and heading out the room. Her father was one of those regimented individuals that you could set your watch to and Nicole knew exactly where he was going.

“What a surprise, hello darling” Nicole’s Mother gushed over the sight of her only daughter. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” she questioned as she kissed Nicole’s forehead. The subtle Britishness of her mother had never faded despite moving to Canada at sixteen when her father got a new job with the bank. 

“Well, I got the weekend off at the last minute” Nicole gingerly replied “And I haven’t been home in a while…”

“Lovely” said her mother as she began to rustle around in the kitchen “Are you hungry darling?”

“When am I not?” chuckled Nicole “Yes please Mum”

“Your usual?” smiled her Mother with her eyebrow raised

“Mmmmm please” Nicole replied fiddling with her tie pin and looking at the counter top.

“What’s wrong Nicole?” enquired Jennifer placing her hand on her daughters, Nicole was like a book she had read a thousand times and this page was titled ‘I’ve got something to tell you and you probably will not like it’

“Ummmmmm well I, ummmm kinda have something to…well tell you and Dad” stumbled the usually poised Haught.

“Ok, shall we wait for him?” her Mother gently suggested.

“He’s gonna be so mad” sniffed Nicole fighting back the tears.

“I doubt that very much Nicole, he loves you. He may be a bit of a Major Pain at times but he soon come down again” her mother said reassuringly.  
Nicole heard her fathers footsteps coming down the stairs and her body tightened. 

“John, sit down love” her mother motioned towards the other stool at the counter beside Nicole. “Nicole has something to tell us and she’s a little nervous”  
“What’s up there Kiddo?” Her father said sliding onto the stool 

“Well, Mum…Dad…I am…well…I think I am…No, I am…well…………..aggghh…kinda, sorta, a little bit not….no that’s not right…I’m sorry.” Nicole was struggling and her parents began to look worried.

“Out with it” John said a little sharper than he intended to.

“Tell us sweetheart” Jennifer soothed

“So I know you really liked Ryan, and he’s a super nice guy and when I went to the academy we broke up and he said he would wait for me and all that… well I told him not to.” Nicole said very quickly then paused.

“Okay, so… I’m failing to see the bit where I should be upset?” her father said as he held his hands up and shrugged. “Sure, we liked Ryan but its not like there aren’t other guys out there that we could like too.”

“But that’s the problem Dad… there aren’t any guys that I like” Nicole sobbed.

“Nicole its not like you are left on the shelf, give it time my love” her mother looked confused.

“No… I mean… I don’t like guys… the way I should or you want me to… I like girls… a girl… in particular” Nicole stammered and couldn’t meet her parents gaze.  
Stunned silence had befallen the Haught kitchen. 

“Well we can get you some help for that Nicole” her mother eventually said as a tear rolled down her cheek “You don’t have to stay this way, there is a programme at church or maybe some counselling?”

John Haught stood up from the stool and turned to face his daughter. “I think you need to leave” he said in a monotone.

“No she doesn’t John, we can get her help” her mother begged “she can be normal, be our Nicole again”

“Maybe so, but until such times as she can honestly say she rejects these unnatural urges and the perverted lifestyle of those disgusting ingrates then she is not welcome under my roof” her father didn’t even look at her.

“Bye Mum, bye Dad” Nicole escorted herself off the property.


	2. Everything has changed

The drive back to Aylmer was painful like Nicole had been stabbed repeatedly. She had expected them to be mad, but the coldness was worse. Nicole knew she had just lost her family unless she could find a way to like boys again, or at least stop liking girls.

“What do you want Nic?” she asked herself out loud as if JJ was the one talking. 

“I don’t know” she sighed. “Why’d you have to go and step on that thing you twat? Now I’m stuck here without you.”

“Turns out that’s the worst that could happen when you are out on patrol, and don’t call me a twat you dick” Nicole heard his voice answer and it made her half smile.

“Well if you could just get that shit sorted and get your arse back here I’d be grateful” She replied to the empty passenger seat.

“Not how it works Sissykins, I’m dead and all my bits are something else now, do you think part of me is a vagina yet?” She heard him say.

“Yeah Broski, a vagina on a banana slug” she laughed loudly this time. Both the younger Haughts had rejected their parents conservative Christianity some time shortly after beginning high school, but kept up the rituals out of respect for them. JJ had joked about Nicole's’ molecules becoming the source of jock itch and Nicole had joked that JJs would most definitely end up part of a banana slugs rectum. “What am I gonna do JJ?”

There was no response, Nicole knew this was because JJ wasn’t really there it was just her brain desperately looking for comfort. She sighed deeply and turned on her music, and started signing along to Zanski – Mess. “how easy it is to slowly implode…slowly implode.” Music had always been something Nicole loved, it helped her to feel and taught her how to self soothe. Since JJ had died she was almost never without some kind of music on. She had his ipod, that and his watch which she wore religiously were her most precious possessions. 

Turning into the parking lot of her building Nicole gave herself a little pep talk “Ok Haught, this shit is total balls but you can’t wallow in your own self pity its time to drink a little cup of harden the fuck up and get this emotional shit stowed away for now.” She pulled up and got out of her car, putting her headphones in and grabbing her bag she made her way to her apartment. It was a simple studio apartment but easy to keep clean and she wasn’t the kind of person who needed a lot of “things” some photos on the wall, her shoes neatly lined up, and a few fridge magnets were the only initial indication that the place was inhabited. 

Throwing her bag on the bed Nicole undid her shirt and made her way to the bathroom. Splashing her face with water and looking at herself in the mirror she was surprised to find she looked no different to the last time she looked, maybe a little tired and tear stained but ultimately the same face was staring back. Undressing and chucking her clothes in the laundry hamper Nicole turned the water on in the shower to heat up. After testing it with her hand and adjusting it to hotter than the sun, Nicole stepped in and felt the hot water cascade down her body, soothing her muscles which until now she had not noticed were like stretched rubber bands of tension. 

“Hello?” She heard somebody call and it stirred her from her trance. 

“Hello?” She recognised the voice this time.

Opening the shower door and turning the water off Nicole called back “Hey, its me I’m just getting out of the shower.” 

“Can I come in?” the voice enquired.

“Oh, yeah ummm sure” I’ll be out in a minute Nicole replied.

“Ok, coffee?” the voice called.

“Please babe” Nicole answered.

Nicole had been seeing Shae for about a month and had asked her to keep an eye on her fish whilst she went home for the weekend, it was secretly an excuse to give her a key but Shae seemed obliging.

Dressed in her PJs and towelling off her hair Nicole returned to the kitchenette and sat down as Shae poured the contents of the coffee presse in to two mugs. 

“That good huh?” Shae enquired casually 

“The worst” Nicole replied.

“Want to tell me about it?” Shae asked.

“Not much to say, I went home and did a shit job of coming out then Dad kicked me out” Nicole took a long sip of coffee to stifle the wave of tears threatening to pour from her eyes. 

“Ok” Shae knew Nicole well enough to leave it alone. “Plans for this evening?”

Nicole sighed “I guess watch the game and pass out in a pizza induced coma?”

“Solo?” asked Shae.

“That depends on just how far down the rabbit hole your want to chase me?” Nicole replied.

“Baby, any hole is a goal.” They both laughed at this and agreed that company was way better than wallowing alone.

 

The Raptors were on form and a spot in the playoffs looked assured, this game against the Bucks would seal the deal if they won it. Nicole was on beer number four when Carter took it straight down the middle to give the Raps a commanding 10 point lead with 2 minutes to go. Shae had become a basketball fan when she started seeing Nicole, traditionally a baseball and football girl she was really getting into it thanks to Nicole’s enthusiasm.

“Yesssssssssss Vince!” She cheered as another bucket from the Raps best player had fans calling it a victory.

Nicole got up and wobbled a bit as she did her hip thrusting victory dance. “We’re going to the play offs…we’re going to the play offs!” she laughed and fell back onto the sofa narrowly missing Shae’s legs. “Boomsauce”

“Baby, no more beers ok? You are getting rowdy and I can’t carry you” Shae joked

“OK, spoil sport” Nicole poked back.

“It’s a rare occasion I am the more responsible one” Shae mocked

“You’re gonna be a Doooooctooor you are always responsi…responsi…responsibly” Nicole slurred.

Shae walked to the sink and poured a glass of water “drink this” she said handing the glass to Nicole to replace her beet bottle.

“K” Nicole nodded. “Why don’t they want me anymore?” she said with those big caramel eyes staring right at her girlfriend.

“It’s not a question I can answer baby” Shae stroked the stray hair from Nicole's eyes and kissed her forehead. 

“Stay” whispered Nicole as she leant into Shae.

“Okay, but I have early rounds tomorrow and you better not be one of those grumpy when hungover types” Shae put her arm around Nicole and lead her to the bed.


End file.
